Young Newlyweds

Newlywed Counseling


No matter how perfect you are as a couple — regardless of the fact that you want to spend every waking moment together and can finish each other’s sentences — you are bound to differ from in at least a few ways over the course of a long marriage. Don’t wait for potential problems to pop up, couples therapy provides an outlet and helps people who are in love get to know themselves and their partners better so they can maintain their connection over time, no matter what obstacles are thrown their way.


“There is a myth that somehow happy couples just agree on everything automatically all the time and we enter relationships convinced that whatever problems or differences we have with our partners will be easy to solve. But, in reality, the individuals who make up a partnership will disagree frequently, and often struggle over even minor issues.


Here are issues that can be addressed in newlywed or pre-marital couples counseling.


You can define your ideas about commitment

Seems easy enough to say you want to commit to one person for the rest of your life, right? But the word “commitment” has different meanings for different people and it’s important you’re on the same page with your partner.


You can discuss finances

After sex, money is the biggest generator of problems in marriage, which isn’t a huge surprise, is it? Differences in income can mean struggling about who pays for what, or whose income determines your lifestyle.  Different financial habits (one likes to save, the other spends more) can become a source of argument. Financial matters become a lot easier to solve when you have the help of an objective third party.


Therapy offers a safe place to trash each other’s families (just kidding!)

It can be difficult to learn how to marry an entire family — which is kind of what you do when you marry any one person. If one of you has a lot of family or friends, and the other does not, you can find out what those relationships mean. Where will you spend holidays? If there are family members who have problems, such as addiction or mental illness, how much will that impact your relationship?


Therapy can help make your sex life even better

Many newlyweds, who can barely keep their hands off of each other, would laugh their heads off at the idea that they could use help in the sex department. But a marriage is for life (we hope). Instead of crossing your fingers that insecurities or sex issues will go away, therapy helps make the couple feel comfortable discussing sex and resolving potential issues.


It can help you deal with anger and strong emotions

One of the worst parts about being married, especially if you’re an introvert who prefers to bottle up feelings, is that you simply don’t have the luxury of skipping town for a few days when the going gets rough. We all get upset from time to time and if your tendency is to react to each other and make the situation more volatile and destructive, you need to correct that problem.


Therapy gives you a chance to ask questions that matter

No one is trained to know what the important questions are to ask a prospective mate.  Usually, the only training we get about intimate relationships comes from observing the interaction between our parents, and the parents of a few of our friends. The selection of a mate is often done without thoroughly thinking through many of the issues that will surface in the relationship. Therapy allows new couples to ask each other questions they might not have previously thought were important.


Early counseling keeps you open-minded about therapy

Even if things are mostly roses and chocolate right now, if a couple is open enough to seek counseling as newlyweds, it speaks volumes about how much they value their relationship and the steps they’ll be open to taking later on, should bigger problems ever surface.
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